Want to Try Mindful Dating? Here’s What You Need to Know
Everyone is looking for something different when they date—maybe it’s making a fun connection, maybe it’s finding someone new to spend time with, or maybe it’s getting into a committed relationship. And no matter what you’re looking for when you’re swiping on Bumble, if you’re not getting what you want out of your dating life, you might want to consider mindful dating.
Not sure what that is? Here’s what you need to know:
Mindful dating is all about being intentional
The first thing to understand is what being mindful even means, which is being fully present and connected to your thoughts and emotions in the moment. Mindful dating, in turn, means bringing that awareness to your dating life, and then being intentional about how you proceed. According to Christi-an Slomka, community manager at meditation and sleep app Calm, “mindful dating is the practice of being present with yourself, the person you’re dating or looking to date, and the dating process.”
Mindful dating can be different for everyone
So, what does that even look like? Well, mindful dating can affect each part of the dating process in different ways. Initially, mindful dating means thinking critically about what you need in a partner and a relationship so that you’ll be able to find what you want when you’re swiping. For example, if you see that someone’s Bumble profile says that they want a relationship but you’re not looking for anything serious, having already taken that time to figure out what you want, you’ll be able to swipe left knowing that you two aren’t a match at the moment.
When you’ve met up with a potential partner, mindfully dating means asking them insightful questions to figure out if you two have aligning values, being an active listener, and perhaps meditating beforehand to get in your best headspace pre-date (and you can check out Calm and Bumble’s meditations on courage in relationships here). If things don’t work out with someone you’re dating, then being mindful looks like being compassionate and not judging yourself.
In addition to all that, mindful dating also means knowing your boundaries, actively being aware of your feelings, and trying to learn from your dating experiences. Of course, those are all big concepts that could look different for each person.
Mindful dating can improve your relationships
Shifting your mindset to be more present may not only help find you a good match, but it can also improve your relationship with that person. If you work at being mindful, it’s likely that your relationships will begin from a healthy, honest, and aligned place, which sets you up to succeed.
By being mindful and present in each moment, it also ensures that you don’t get caught up in the potential of what a new relationship could be as opposed to what it is, or stay stuck in past relationship mistakes. “Mindfulness invites us to take the experience breath by breath and date by date,” Slomka explains.
And with so much to gain by simply being more mindful, it might be worth giving it a try!