By Ashley Edwards Walker
Living with your parents definitely has its perks: free laundry, home-cooked meals, and the occasional reminder that you’re still on your phone too much. But when it comes to dating, privacy isn’t always guaranteed.
Dating from your childhood home comes with challenges—awkward run-ins in the kitchen, and “So, when are you bringing someone home?” questions—but it’s not impossible. For previous generations, living at home as an adult was seen as a sign you hadn’t quite “made it” yet. These days, it’s the norm. A 2021 survey from the Pew Research Center found that about 1 in 3 U.S. adults between the ages of 18 and 34 were living at home. And if you look at places like California, New Jersey, and Hawaii—where rent and home prices are sky-high—it makes sense. For many people, moving back in with Mom and Dad is the practical choice.
To help you navigate dating when you live with your parents, we’ve rounded up some tips to make the process feel a bit less weird. Whether it’s carving out some private time or setting clear boundaries, these ideas can help you keep your personal life moving without the added stress.
Be upfront and honest about the situation
There are a million reasons we shy away from talking about our love lives with our parents. But having that conversation—especially before you invite anyone over—can save you from a whole lot of awkwardness down the road.
“Prepare and rehearse what you want to say so you feel confident to have the conversation,” recommends Alexander Chan, a licensed marriage and family therapist and University of Maryland educator. “You don’t want your own sense of awkwardness to impede a conversation that could really help your situation.”
Start with something open-ended like, “Hey, I’m dating and would like some privacy. Any ideas on how we can make that work?”, then see where the conversation goes from there.
“Having all of that settled ahead of time with your family will allow you to be more attuned with your own feelings and not trying to solve a bunch of problems while you’re trying to focus on the relationship,” explains Alexander.
Get practical about your space
Once everyone’s on the same page about needing some privacy, it’s time to get practical. Alexander recommends taking a look at where your bedroom is and seeing if there’s a guest room or another spot in the house that offers more seclusion. Then, have a chat with your parents about whether it makes sense for you to move into that space. Another simple hack? Pick up a sound machine. It’s perfect for those early, getting-to-know-you phone calls, adding a bit of background noise to keep things discreet while you talk.
Set and maintain boundaries
“Parents are always curious about our dating lives,” says Jennifer Teplin, the founder and clinical director of Manhattan Wellness. “But they become even more curious when we’re living at home and they’re seeing our behaviors.”
If your parents start asking questions that feel intrusive, it’s up to you to set boundaries—and enforce them when they’re tested. Jennifer advises keeping a warm, friendly tone to help avoid hurt feelings. It’s up to you and the person you’re seeing to define your relationship, so don’t feel pressured.
“Addressing it may look like, ‘Thanks so much for asking. I’m just trying to figure it out and I’ll let you know when there’s an update,’” she says. Eventually, your parents should (hopefully) get it.
Keep run-ins casual and brief
To a lot of people, meeting the parents signifies a level of seriousness about the relationship. But if you’re dating when you live with your parents, you could stumble into that situation after just a few meetings. To get ahead of any potential confusion or awkwardness, give everyone a head’s up this could happen, and then keep interactions brief and informal. Jennifer suggests asking your parents to keep a friendly distance with guests they don’t already know.
“It’s all about the intention of the conversation,” Jennifer explains. “The parents can pop in casually, but not try to get to know the person.”
You’ll also want to give your date the same notice so they understand you live at home and could run into one of your family members.
“What you don’t want,” adds Jennifer, “is to take anyone by surprise.”
Focus on your “why” when talking about your living situation
It can definitely feel awkward to admit to someone you’re hoping to impress that you’re still living with your parents. However, licensed marriage and family therapist Nicole Richardson says that’s when it can be helpful to talk about your “why,” a concept popularized by speaker and author Simon Sinek.
“The living at home part doesn’t matter as much as the motivation behind it,” says Nicole. If you’re living at home because you’re supporting a parent through some health issues, or you’re paying off student loans or saving for a downpayment, explaining those reasons provides context, and helps you communicate your values.
“And if the person you’re on the date with doesn’t resonate with that, then that’s helpful,’” points out Nicole. “If they’re like, ‘I would never live with my mom who has a terminal illness,’ that’s probably not your person.”
Know when it’s time to move on—literally
Living at home can be practical and even enjoyable, but it shouldn’t hold you back from dating or moving forward in other areas of your life. Nicole notes that if your family isn’t respecting your boundaries, or if you feel the need to lie, sneak around, or hide things, it’s probably time to reconsider your living situation. Your independence and personal space matter, and sometimes that means making a change, even if it’s not the easiest option.
“Home is the place where you should be able to be you,” says Nicole. “The most relaxed, at ease, authentic version of yourself. And if you don’t feel like you can do that, then it is time to think about moving out.”
At the end of the day, your living situation is just one piece of the puzzle—it doesn’t define you or your potential. Sure, dating when you live with your parents might come with a few challenges, but it also comes with perks. The key is to find a balance: take advantage of the free laundry and home-cooked meals while also carving out the privacy you need for the kind of relationships you want.
When the time comes to take the next step—whether that’s moving out, moving rooms, or just moving forward in your dating life—you’ll be ready. Just remember, your space (or lack of it) doesn’t dictate your worth or success; it’s how you handle it that counts.