By Ashley Edwards Walker 

Moving to a new city is exciting—but let’s face it, it can feel tough starting from scratch. Making friends as an adult can be overwhelming, no matter how you try to approach it but don’t worry—there are ways to ease the transition.

The truth is, making new friends is all about tapping into what you already have—your interests, your network, and your unique personality. Whether it’s reaching out to mutual friends or finding groups that align with your passions, you’ve got more access points than you think. And once you realize that, building friendships becomes less about “putting yourself out there” and more about finding the people who will value what you bring to the table.

That’s why we reached out to three relationship and socialization experts to get their top tips for making lasting friendships. Because, let’s be honest, the best way to explore a new place is with some great company.

How to make friends when you move somewhere new

Put out some feelers before you move

Top tip No. 1: Don’t wait to get settled before you start making friends. The second you know you’re moving, start reaching out. Use your network—friends, colleagues, acquaintances—and see if they’ve got any connections in your new city. A warm introduction from someone you already know is the quickest way to meet new people.

“Reaching out to friends of friends, or friends of colleagues, is one of the most fruitful avenues for potential connections,” says Kat Vellos, connection coach and author of We Should Get Together.

This “two-way vetting” (we both like and are liked by the same person, so maybe we’ll also like each other) is a great shortcut to meeting people.

Focus on quantity over quality—at least at first

We all have people who just get “us”—like our friends from college, our high school buddies, or the colleague we befriended in our first job—but those deeper connections take time. That’s why Dr. Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends, says it’s totally fine to focus on quantity over quality when making friends in a new city—at least at first.

“It’s about being open,” says Dr. Franco. “The people you meet first might be people who are just fun to hang out with, and not your friendship soulmates. But they are part of the process of finding those people with whom you do deeply connect.”

This could mean connecting with people you might have overlooked before—whether because of age, gender, or just a feeling they weren’t your type. Through these connections, you’ll start to get a clearer sense of what you really value in a friend. Plus, you’ll have plenty of interesting people to explore your new city with. One of her pro tips: Seek out other newcomers—they’re often more open and eager to connect than those with established networks.

Be active, not passive

Whether you’re meeting someone through a mutual friend or at an event, Franco suggests you’ll have better luck if you take the initiative and actively seek out connections, rather than waiting for them to happen. Sure, making the first move can feel a little intimidating, but it’s often because we tend to “overestimate our likelihood of being rejected” and “underestimate how liked we actually are,” explains Franco.

At in-person events, don’t just linger on the sidelines. Introduce yourself to others, but also try to engage in genuine conversation by asking questions that go beyond the surface. And if the event doesn’t feel like a great fit, don’t be afraid to pivot. Look for smaller, more specialized gatherings (like a hobby group or volunteer event) where people are naturally more open and ready to connect. Remember, you’re not just looking to meet anyone—you’re looking to meet your people.

Look for people who share your interests

According to Jeffrey A. Hall, a professor at the University of Kansas in the Communication Studies Department, having “activity similarity”—or shared interests—is a key component to forming lasting friendships. If you’re both into museums, for example, suggest hitting an art show together, which will allow you to log some quality time and give you plenty of conversation topics. You can find people with similar interests by showing up at events and centers for your favorite activities—maybe that looks like going to a rock-climbing gym or attending a book reading.

If you’re nervous, consider group activities

One of the perks of group settings, says Hall, is that “you don’t have to talk to anyone for too long. It’s light, easy, and if the conversation fizzles out, you can simply move on.” This makes it less daunting, but also gives you the chance to meet a lot of people in one go.

However, there’s one catch, warns Hall: Group settings can also make it too easy to slip into the background and let a good connection slip away. If you meet someone you feel could be a solid friend, don’t let the moment pass. Be sure to let them know you’d love to hang out again, and confirm their contact info before you part ways. This way, you avoid the awkward “I should’ve asked for their number” regret—and give the friendship a chance to grow beyond the group.

Give yourself time

Last but not least, give yourself time to make new friends after moving to a new city. In his 2019 study titled “How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend?,” Hall determined it typically takes 40 to 60 hours for an acquaintance to become a casual friend, 80 to 100 hours for a casual friend to become a friend, and 200 hours or more for a friend to become a best friend.

So even if you dive right in and start meeting people within your first week in the new city, don’t expect instant results. It can take a few months before you start feeling like you’re really making headway with building lasting friendships. Patience is key—it’s all part of the process. Until—and after—that point, continue to “make yourself available to people, show up, follow through, don’t be a flake,” says Hall.

Making friends in a new city takes time, but if you’re willing to put in the effort, it’s worth it. Stick with it, and soon you’ll be surrounded by people who make the city feel like yours.