Coffee Talk: How to Get a Memorable BFF Hang Brewing

First date jitters go beyond romantic settings: we tend to feel nervous in all new social situations. Even when pursuing platonic relationships, lulls in conversation or jokes that don’t quite land feel just as anxiety inducing — but fear not! You don’t need to pull a Leslie Knope and prepare an entire book of conversation topics, but having the following in mind will ease your nerves and allow for a natural exchange over coffee, wine, or wherever you are.

Don’t discount the Basics

Remember that conversations with new people will always feel somewhat rigid at first, but trust that you’re an interesting and competent individual that has a lot to say. Small talk is a good jumping off point for deeper insights. Ask your new pal how work or class went today. What do they do exactly? Do they like it? If they work in a particularly interesting role, ask them how they landed it.

While you want to avoid making it feel like an interrogation, most people like talking about themselves and open up if someone shows genuine interest. If they mention something you relate to, don’t hesitate to react.

Dive into entertainment

Nothing bonds two women like fangirling over Bey’s newest single, and science shows that someone’s interest in music, books, television, film, and general pop culture reveals aspects of their character. While we don’t recommend psychoanalyzing people based on their movie queue, her devotion to dramedies might signal she’s down to Netflix and cry.

Ask for Advice

If you’ve been needing to call on a friend for advice, well, here’s your chance! Asking people their opinion on personal issues, big or small, lets them know you’re comfortable in their company. By allowing yourself to be somewhat vulnerable, you also usher in deeper connection. Bonus? Since a new friend won’t have extensive insight into your life yet, they’ll probably give you an honest, objective response.  

Find a sliver of Common Ground

According to experts, finding even the smallest of similarities provides a pathway to trust. Sharing the same zodiac sign or hometown might not mean you’re destined to be platonic soulmates, but the commonality will help to elicit feelings of belonging.

Overall, remind yourself that making new, meaningful connections often requires pushing yourself past your comfort zone. You might feel shaky as you walk in the coffee shop for your first hang with a new pal, but we bet you’ll feel giddy on your way out (and probably still shaky too, seeing as you just downed a double shot).