By Chloe Laws 

You see each other most days, you’ve met each other’s friends, and you know the names of all their childhood pets. An extra toothbrush lives in your bathroom and their coffee order is as familiar as your own. It feels like a relationship, but you haven’t actually said it out loud. We’ve all been there—stuck in the in-between space of dating vs relationship.

Modern dating is filled with grey areas. There’s an invisible scale, talking vs dating vs relationship, seeing someone vs being exclusive vs being in a committed relationship. These blurred lines can be fun sometimes, but more often than not, they can be a bit stressful, and even a little anxiety-inducing. And despite all the alternate labels out there in 2025, it’s still a relationship that many of us are after. 85% of Bumble members surveyed are looking for commitment (marriage or a partner). Our 2025 ‘dating trends’ report found that the majority (59%) of women respondents are placing more value on stability—looking for a partner who is emotionally consistent, reliable, and has clear goals when it comes to their life.

So it’s natural that at some point, you might start wondering: What does it mean to be in a relationship? And more importantly, are we in one?

Whether you’re hoping for clarity or looking for the language to bring it up, here’s how to navigate that uncertain stage and figure out what comes next.

First, let’s talk about what counts as a relationship

Every relationship is different, but typically, the difference between dating and a relationship comes down to emotional commitment and shared intention. Understanding the meaning of dating versus being in a committed relationship can help you navigate those stages more clearly. Dating can be casual or exploratory, while a relationship usually signals a desire for a long-term connection. It’s not about how often you see each other, it’s about whether you’re planning on building some sort of future together. 

If you’re still unsure what the difference is between dating and a relationship, check out our breakdown of dating stages here.

So, how do you know if it’s time to define the relationship?

There’s no universal timeline. Some couples make it official after a few weeks; others follow the ‘three month rule’. There’s also no wrong answer, but if you’re feeling anxious or uncertain, that’s a good indicator it might be time to talk. Here are some signs you might be ready:

• You’re spending a lot of time together and talking daily
• You’re not seeing or messaging anyone else (and assume they aren’t either)
• You’re included in each other’s plans and social lives
• You’re physically affectionate in public and act like a couple
• You catch yourself using “we” instead of “I”

If any of these sound familiar, it might be time to move from “just seeing each other” to having a conversation about what you both want.

How to bring it up (without the awkwardness)

Talking about where you stand can feel intimidating. But it doesn’t have to be a Big, Scary Talk. You can start light and still be clear. Try:

• “I’ve been really enjoying this. I’m curious how you’re feeling about us.”
• “It feels like we’re in a relationship, is that how you see it too?”
• “I’m at a point where I’m only dating you. I’d love to know where you’re at.”

It’s not about forcing a label or being clingy. It’s about checking if you’re aligned in how you feel, what you want, and how you see things evolving. A committed relationship doesn’t need to look any particular way, it just needs to feel right for both of you.

What if they’re not ready to define it?

If they aren’t ready to call it a relationship, that doesn’t automatically mean bad news. They might need more time, and that can be okay. What matters is how they respond: are they honest, respectful, and open to revisiting the conversation? Or are they vague and avoidant? Stonewalling you, even?

If you’re clear on what you want, it’s okay to say that. You deserve clarity and care in return. It’s not about rushing things, it’s about making sure your emotional needs are being met.

You’re not overthinking it. You’re seeking connection.

When you’re doing all the same things an official couple does, but without the label, it can feel like you’re giving ‘the girlfriend experience’ without any of the benefits (as in security, reassurance, and commitment). It’s natural to want to understand what it means. Asking where you stand isn’t needy, it’s just honest communication. You can’t put your needs away in a box and lock them up, out of fear of being rejected—it never ends well pretending you want something different than what you actually want. So, if you’re stuck in the middle of dating vs relationship and not sure what to do next, pause, chat to some friends about it, and start the conversation. Defining the relationship isn’t about applying pressure, it’s about mutual understanding and compromise. And that’s a pretty solid foundation for whatever comes next.