By Chloe Laws

Great relationships don’t just happen, they’re built, brick by brick. Strong emotional connections come from meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and a deep understanding of each other. Whether you’re just starting to date or years into a committed relationship, asking thoughtful questions can help you connect on a deeper level.

We’re not talking about the usual “what’s your type” style of questions. Instead, real, engaging discussions should go beyond surface-level topics and help you understand your partner’s values, past experiences, and emotional world.

Relationship-building questions for couples to reconnect

Speaking to The Buzz, Integrative psychotherapist and author of Real Talk, Tasha Bailey lays out ten relationship-building questions she suggests asking a partner:

1. How do you handle conflict?
2. What’s something you’re working on within yourself right now?
3. What does feeling safe in a relationship look like for you?
4. When do you feel the most connected to me?
5. What is one thing about me that still feels like a mystery to you?
6. What’s something you wish people asked you about more often?
7. In what ways do you hold yourself back in relationships, and why?
8. What’s something you’re afraid to ask for in relationships but deeply need?
9. What did your parents teach/show you about relationships?
10. What’s a lesson life keeps trying to teach you?

For example, asking “When do you feel the most connected to me?” can reveal how your partner experiences love and reassurance. Some people need words of affirmation, while others feel most valued through small acts of service. Understanding these differences can help strengthen emotional intimacy and trust.

Similarly, reflecting on childhood experiences can provide insight into your partner’s personality. “What did your parents teach/show you about relationships?” might open up a conversation about resilience, creativity, or even the way they handle conflict. Learning about these formative moments can bring you closer in ways you didn’t expect.

And speaking of challenges, understanding how your partner processes difficulties is key to long-term compatibility. “What’s a lesson life keeps trying to teach you?” can highlight their coping mechanisms and emotional growth, offering a glimpse into how they might navigate future struggles in your relationship.

It’s also helpful to explore what makes your partner feel comfortable and authentic. “When do you feel the most like yourself?” is a trust question that can help you create environments where they thrive, whether that’s exploring new places, spending time with close friends, or simply enjoying quiet moments at home.

Navigating conflict is another area where communication matters. Asking “How do you handle conflict, and what helps you resolve it?” can prepare you for disagreements before they happen. Some people need time to cool off, while others prefer to talk things through immediately. Understanding each other’s conflict resolution styles can help prevent unnecessary tension and strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Why these conversations matter

Great relationships aren’t about having all the answers, they’re about staying curious. By asking thoughtful, connection questions, you create space for deeper emotional intimacy. Whether you’ve been dating for a few weeks or have been together for years, making time for meaningful conversations helps strengthen your bond in ways that surface-level chats can’t.

Expert Charlotte Fox Weber, psychologist and author of What We Want told The Buzz: “Real intimacy isn’t just about time spent together – it’s about understanding each other deeply. The right questions don’t just start conversations; they build emotional bridges.” She went on to explain that “Love grows in the space between what we assume and what we take the time to ask.”

Bailey agrees, telling us that “these questions quickly reveal emotional compatibility, if someone consistently avoids, deflects, or turns to humor instead of answering, it may signal a lack of emotional availability or self-reflection.” She added that “Meaningful, intimate questions create space for both people to feel truly seen and heard, fostering emotional safety and encouraging vulnerability. They help us set aside ego, allowing for deeper connection and authenticity.”

Ultimately, Bailey believes that the need to be understood is universal: “these conversations not only strengthen our understanding of each other but also promote self-awareness as we reflect on our own answers, ultimately deepening the emotional bond.”

So next time you’re on a long walk, sharing a meal, or just winding down at the end of the day, try weaving in a few of these relationship-building questions. You might be surprised at how much you learn, and how much closer you feel.