Bumble Asked Daters What They’re Looking for in a Relationship. The Answer? Kindness

Bumble started with a simple but important mission: to make dating apps—and by extension, the internet—kinder. We believe that leading with kindness results in more equitable and meaningful connections. It turns out many daters in the U.S. feel the same. 

A new survey* of Bumble members shows just how much daters prioritize and value kindness. The vast majority (87%) of respondents agree that kindness is the most important quality in a potential partner. In terms of how daters are actually defining kindness in relationships, 65% of respondents say honesty is a key trait, 62% say compassion, and 52% say empathy. In fact, kindness is such a priority for daters that 83% of those surveyed agree that being kind is more important than physical attributes in a potential partner.

The behavior of daters has also changed for the better, with single folks surveyed reporting that they’re being kinder to themselves. Nearly half of women respondents (48%) said they’ll no longer put up with toxic behaviors, for instance. Bumble’s survey also found that 59% of respondents value equality in a relationship, and 62% of women respondents say that respecting personal space and boundaries is part of what defines a great partner.

One way those surveyed think others can show kindness is by giving a compliment. Of all respondents, 82% agree that saying something complimentary is one of the kindest things a person can do. Most men surveyed (83%) and women surveyed (69%) say that receiving a compliment makes them feel more interested in a potential partner. More than half (65%) of respondents say they’re more likely to go on a second date with someone who gives them a compliment. 

Next time you’re swiping on Bumble, make sure to put kindness first. You can use Bumble’s Compliments feature to bring a smile to someone’s face—or just keep honesty, empathy, and equality in mind. We hope that you find the kind and meaningful connection you deserve. 

*Based on a survey commissioned by Bumble of 1,002 U.S. respondents 18+ in May 2023.